What to talk about on a date? In fact, the topics are endless. At first impressions, it is more important what not to tell your potential partner . Avoid topics related to your shared future, so as not to scare her and hold your girlfriends from the past. Establish a bond through lightly conducted conversation, learn about it, inquire and share anecdotes, but do not create an atmosphere of an interrogation.
Check out our list of safe topics to talk about on your first date, and learn about the ones you should avoid at all costs!
The first date is to be or not to be, so be well prepared
How do Poles date? One of the leading dating sites recently conducted a survey among 50,000 about their habits of establishing romantic relationships with a partner or partner. According to the research, Poles date quite conservatively. Only 37% of people admitted dating several times a year, and only 12% regularly date several times a month. Moreover, such meetings are usually very traditional: they should provide good conditions for conversation, without additional attractions or impulses of madness.
Love in times of plague is difficult. Already, psychologists are worried that lockdown is seriously affecting the psyche of singles, singles and those still looking for love. We don’t go out to bars, pubs or clubs. We have limited opportunities for socializing during group classes in gyms, language schools, courses, universities or even at work. And it was in such life situations that you could most often meet someone interesting.
However, not only COVID brought a change in establishing relationships! The greatest revolution was caused by … the Internet. In 2019, more people met a partner online than in real life. Dating apps are growing at such a pace that you can seriously consider buying their stocks on the stock exchange.
Remember that attractions must not prevent you from talking – because it is usually the decisive factor
The dating culture is somewhat taboo. And let’s be clear: we don’t really know how it’s done! That is why it is worth looking beyond the horizon and sneaking a few good habits from the masters in this profession, the Americans. A date should be well prepared, thoughtful and perhaps surprising. Show the initiative, but also ask your partner what she would like to do this evening, what she likes to do and spends her time most willingly. Find something that will interest both of you – and above all, make sure that it allows you to talk freely.
What to talk about on a date? 5 universal themes
At the beginning, let’s say: treat a woman as an equal conversation partner. Do not explain her world in your own way, i.e. avoid the so-called manspaining. When you start explaining something to a woman without asking for it, she may feel patronized, as if she is less intelligent than you.
However, if you tell her that you are involved in corporate acquisitions at work or that you are building artificial intelligence, and she curiously asks: “It’s very interesting, go on,” you have just been given the green light to tell her a bit about your passion or what you do. However, try to have a conversation, not a lecture. Listen to her reaction, let us ask questions, do not stop if she makes a digression – this is not a presidential debate, but establishing relationships with a woman you like.
What to talk to a girl about at the first meeting? Here are 5 fairly safe topics for a first date!
1. Work and education
For some, boredom, for others, a good starter. Don’t avoid topics related to strength work – after all, you spend of your day there. Tell us what you do, why you like your job, how it happened that you are at this point in your career. However, do not go into details: do not talk about colleagues, difficulties, problems. There will be time for that in your report.
When not to talk about work? If you don’t like her and don’t have much good to say about her. In such a situation, it is enough to mention that you are engaged in this and that, although you are thinking about some change.
2. Passions
River theme! But don’t be boring. Say what you are interested in and why. If your interlocutor picks up the topic, continue and share your passion and emotions with them. What if you are passionate about sports? Tell about it. Perhaps she knows football better than you do!
3. Music, books and series
Culture is there to talk about it, share it and experience it together. If you’ve recently read a cool article or an interesting book, tell your partner about it. Do you watch a lot of series? Perhaps she is a fan of them and will be happy to talk to you about what she likes best.
4. “Spontan”
Dating isn’t about coming up with a ready-made list of interesting topics. The most important thing is that you catch your anecdotes, sense of humor, and naturally sense what issues you can raise and which are better to avoid. Don’t let your date turn into an interview or interview. Do not go over your list of topics point by point, but develop those in which you have a common language.
5. Politics, religion and values
Surprised? Most marriage guides believe that conversations about politics, religion, and philosophy shouldn’t happen on a first date. Mistake! After all, you are just getting to know each other and you want to check if you are compatible. Don’t let the first date be just a superficial chat. By talking about serious topics, you can see if you share common values. Very often, if this is not the case, your relationship will only be fleeting.
Important: Weave the topic of views on the topics quite subtly, preferably when the conversation has already started a little. Rather, don’t start the meeting with him if you don’t want it to end soon.
It’s best not to discuss these threads on the first date
What’s better not to ask a girl on a first date or not at all? Here is a black list of topics for a date.
1. Do you want to have children? Do you want to get married?
Hold your horses! Don’t put pressure. You’re just getting to know each other, so don’t scare her with a question about your future together. This is a topic for a date later when you get to know each other a little better. Perhaps by the time you ask this question, she will have time to tell you the answer.
2. How many partners have you had in the past?
Don’t judge if you don’t want to be judged . Women are stigmatized for having more than one sexual partner and are often referred to as unfairly “promiscuous”. As for women, society applies different rules – a man gains experience with each new girl, a woman respects herself less with each new boyfriend. Obviously, this is a wrong double standard. When you ask her about it, she will sense that she is being judged and may become hostile.
3. I suffer from depression, problems, other mental problems and other illnesses
This is quite a touchy topic. Entering into such delicate topics requires building a deeper bond, trust, and opening up to the other person. Do not burden a newly met girl with such difficult matters. Remember that although you want to establish a closer relationship, he is still the person you see for the first time in your life.
4. How did you break up with the previous guy?
Do you want to recall her ex-lover’s memory on your first or next date? You are what counts, not what was in the past. Perhaps one day she will tell you about it herself.
5. How much do you earn?
It’s just that culture requires avoiding this topic… as long as possible. You’ll also find out about that one day.
Make a good first impression with your outfit and keep it up with a conversation
Let’s face it: the first impression can only be made once. So try to do your best and come appropriately dressed to the meeting. What to wear to look fit, but not to overdo it?
If you’re planning a dinner at a restaurant and a movie theater, be sure to wear a shirt ! Don’t pick a tie for her. Instead, put on a sports jacket and flannel pants . When you take your partner for an evening walk, opt for plaid flannel pants and a black turtleneck . For this, put on an elegant wool coat and leather gloves. You can break the semi-formal style with sports shoes, but you will also look good on shoes with a raised upper and metal buckles.
Are you going to throw an ax at a target? Create the look of a modern lumberjack. Wear jeans and sneakers for a long-sleeved uniform blouse . Throw a checked shirt on top and choose e.g. a leather bracelet . Also, remember to always come on a date with perfectly polished shoes.
There will still be time for serious topics at the next meetings
While dating is usually meant to be enjoyable, it cannot be denied that the first meeting with a girl you like and with whom you probably want to develop a deeper relationship is stress. But remember that it works both ways. Probably your partner is just as embarrassed as you are. Make sure you both have a good time, and it will surely be the first of many meetings .